Carrot

"Carrot."
"Whadda ya mean carrot?"
"Nothin' don't worry about."
"Dude, what's yer problem?"
"Nothin', chill."
"Whatever."
This work sucks! God I hate havin' to do work. I wish I could just crawl in a big hole and stay there. Today sucks. Oh well it'll get better after I ask that girl out later. She was totally flirtin' with me.
"Dude, ya know that chick I was talkin' about the other day."
"Which one?"
"3rd hour."
"Yeah, what about her?"
"I'm gonna ask her out today."
"Cool."
"Hey, you two, be quiet back there," said the teacher harshly.
"Dude, I'll talk you, later."
"Cool."
Well I guess today's not all bad, yet. Being a psychic sucks. I already know somethin' bad's gonna happen. God I wish this class would just end. I wish school would end. I hate writing. It sucks so bad. Was that the bell? No, crap everybody's still here.
"Dude, how much time does this class have left?"
"Just pack up bro the class is almost over."
O.K. now that was the bell. I hope she's here. Alright she is. That's cool, maybe today won't suck after all.
"Hey, yo, ya need some help wit that?"
"Sure could you hold this for just a second."
"No prob."
"Thanks."
"So did you go to any parades this week-end?"
"Yeah, I went to the one in Slidell with my family and my boyfriend. His friend showed up and we all had a great time. It was so much fun. I caught a whole lot of beeds and stuff."
Well then again today might suck after all. I can't believe this. God this sucks. This sucks more than anything that has ever sucked before. I wanna go home. I wish I could just go home and listen to "Suicidal Dream" and maybe some Smashing Pumpkins. Ohh crap my freakin' C.D.'s still at my aunt's I wish she'd mail it back.
"So what did you do this week-end?" she said, obviously not realizing that she had just completely screwed my day all to heck. Maybe the whole piece-a-crap-week.
"I went to some parades with my family. I wasn't all that into it; mostly helped my sisters get beads."
"Oh that's so sweet."
Oh well if that didn't just brighten my day right back up. Get my hopes up, shoot me down like a wounded duck, and then calls me sweet. How stupid can you get? Can she not see where this conversation was going?" I wish I'd have know yesterday rather than thinkin' an' rethinkin' this conversation over an' over in my head ‘til I was almost obsessed.
"O,K, well glad I could help ya but I gotta go do my work. It'll probably take me the rest of the period ta finish so I gotta go start now."
"Thanks again."
I shoulda known that a girl like that would have a boyfriend anyway. I hate myself. I'm so stupid.
"Hey, yeah, what's up bro?"
"Nothin', you?"
"Nothin, much, it's all good."
This work isn't that bad. I can do this. At least I ain't gotta write or nothin'. I still don't wanna be here. I don't wanna be any where at all. It's amazing how I for some reason even if I'm totally bummed I always sound happy when I talk. It makes me sick. Everything's just stupid. At least this class almost over. I wish she didn't have boyfriend. God she's so hot.
" Dude."
"What's up"
At least there's a lot of people I know in the halls. (Time Lapse) Well that class sucked.
And this one sucked so far, but it's almost over.
"O.K. mark the spot and we'll start there tomorrow," said the teacher to my relief.
God that girl's hot. She has the most beautiful hair I have ever seen. I might dye my hair that color. Or purple. I'm gonna read my magazine. Dude, "Monster Magnet", if this article is as funny as the one I read about them being protested for having nude lesbians on stage at a underage concert then this'll rule. Reading reading reading. O.K. enough reading. We've only got a few minutes left anyways.
"Hey, can I see that."
Dude, it's her. She is so hot. I always figured she wasn't in to "METAL".
"Sure here ya go."
I bet she wouldn't be half as hot if she didn't have red hair.
"I love Monster Magnet."
"Really, I figured you were into like rap or somethin' like that."
"No, I hate it."
"Well, if you like Monster Magnet read this article. This dude let rip it out of his. You know they're being protested?"
"Ding ding ding," said the bell.
"Oh cool, What'd they do?"
"If I tell ya that it won't be as fun to read."
"Yeah, O.K., whatever."
"Fine, be that way."
"I'm just jokin', chill," she said like I really hoped she would.
"Well I'll see ya later." (That's me talkin'.)
(Time lapse)
Well I guess she's gonna bring my article back. I don't really want it, but if it gets her to walk over here then I'll keep it longer.
"That was so funny. I can't believe he went out there with a flaming guitar and chased the protestors around."
"That's what made it funny. You wanna sit down? You can have my seat."
"Sure. Since you don't have anywhere to sit you wanna sit on my lap?"
"Oh baby. (Laughing) Maybe you should sit on my lap. I might break yours."
"O.K."
Well maybe today's not as bad as I thought it would be. Girl I've been checking out for about a year now sitting on my lap. Yep things are lookin' up. At least better that 2 or 3 hours ago. (Time lapse: talking rest of lunch, school ends, bus ride over, now at home)
I'm sucha dork. I really hate everything. God I'm at school: I've got friends, I come home I play computer. Pure popularity all the way. Maybe I'll ask that chick if she wants to go to the parade wit me. Maybe she'll say no. Maybe we'll all be dead by then and it won't matter anyway. I hate kids. Why do they always have to be here? Why do I always have to be here?
I think I'm gonna go watch a movie to pass time. (Yet another time lapse)
"Ring ring ring," said the impatient alarm clock.
"Wapow," said my hand as it hit the stupid noise box.
I hate wakin' up, mornin' sucks, great another day. Well at least I have somethin' ta look forward to today. I know she'll say yes cause she was always smilin' at me when I came into class and stuff. Then again I might just be seeing things that aren't there just because I want it so bad. It sucks understanding things. I know that my mind manipulates everything I see to make me happy. But, of course, I can see through my mind's tricks so that I know how bad the world really sucks unlike optimist people that think everything's great. I wish stupid jerk people like that could live my life or enter mind for just a while. They'd never make it out alive.
Or dead for that matter. (Time lapse another day, end of school)
"Catcha later dude," said I to an extra for our purposes here.
Blah Blah Blah. Stuff's going on. Nobody cares. Big deal. Whatever. Oh crap, did I just see that? Well I guess I'm glad I didn't make a freakin' idiot outa myself by askin' her out. Seeing as how she's got a freakin' boyfriend and all. I now, once again, hate everything. It's a good think I'm a wuss or I'd probably kill myself right now. Well maybe not right now but when I got home. I just can't believe that, two days in a row. I really hate everything. Everything falls apart whenever I think it won't. I should know by now that the entire world is stupid. I'm probably just gonna get depressed agian. Oh well, don't care. At least if I go into a depression I can write poetry. I haven't wrote a poem in a long time. I guess I just have to be depressed to write poetry. My poetry is always depressing. Everybody thought I was going to kill myself last time I wrote poetry. But they did say it was good. But they might have been lying. That teacher last year was scared of me when she made me stay after class because she thought I was psychotic just cause a one poem. That was cool. I wonder if people can really see in my eyes when I'm depressed. I don't think so. Maybe instead of being sad I should just hate everything. It's not hard to do. I think. I'm gonna go ta sleep. (Time lapse 3:12A.M.)
"Omigod, what are you? Are you real? This has got to be a dream."
Alarm clock? What happened? Huh? I hope that was just a dream. No, it was to real. No, that's ridiculous aliens don't exist.
Alarm clock? Didn't I just wake up a second ago? I'm scared. This is some freaky crap. I fell asleep. I woke up on a ship. Then I woke up in my bed, twice? At the same time? I don't know if I want to get up. But I sure as crap don't wanna stay here.
Crap, it happened again? Am I awake now? Wait where am I? This isn't my house. I'm outside? What was that? Oh no, it's over there. No there. It's everywhere! I'm not gonna survive this, am I?
"No, you're not. At least if you think you won't then you won't."
"What or who are you? And how did you know what I was thinkin'?"
"I could here you just like you can here me. I'm not moving my mouth, am I?"
"Well, I don't think so."
"So then maybe I should ask you how you know what I'm thinking."
This is weird? This guy is weird? I don't wanna be here.
"Did you forget that I can hear your thoughts?"
"Dude whatever, I'm just kinda dazed right now."
"That's highly understa beeb beeb beeb."
Oh thank God I'm back. But hat alarm clock is getting to be annoying. I've got to get out of here maybe it's just a dream or whatever, but all I know is that I gotta go. I need to find someone else that's real, like me? I think I'm real. How can I be sure? Who cares I'm gone.
"Mom? Anybody? Come on, answer me. Please." Great, of course, I need someone and there not here. I've gotta find somebody to help me. This is so creepy. O.K.? There's no cars outside anywhere. All the dogs from across the street are gone. Well I guess I'm alone. I wonder if that's good. What happened to that tree? It's pulsatin' and bleedin' Does it have a heart? Oh crap it's reachin' for me. As long as I stay here I should be safe. OH NO EVERYTHING"S ALIVE AND AFTER ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm gonna die.
"Wake up your late for school."
What the? I don't? Wait? Was that my mom? Am I home? With other people here for that matter? My radio's on. That's reassuring cause I left it on when I went to sleep. I should have known that all that other stuff was just a dream cause my radio wasn't on. Or was the other stuff real and this is a dream? Did I really leave the radio on? I usually do. I think? Maybe everything that I'm remembering now is from a dream world that I'm in now.
"Get up! You're gonna miss the bus!"
Oh well I guess I should just forget the whole thing and get up. I think everything's normal. I better get dressed. It might actually be normal cause I got my clean clothes pile and my dirty close pile and messy room and my kickin' stereo and my colored light bulbs and everything. It's just like I think it should be. Crap an' now I gotta go ta school. Oh well as I learned last night there are worse places ta be. But if that was just a dream then I haven't been anywhere worse so I can still complain about school. I wish I could go back ta the past. The old timey wars were cool. Like before Vietnam and stuff. Somethin' like the Civil War or American Revolution. I hate big words. I wanna read a comic book I haven't done that in soooo long. Thor sucks, Spawn could kick his....
"Brother mom said get up. It's already time for me to leave."
"Tell'er I ain't goin'."
"You tell her. I don't have to do what you say cause your not the boss a me."
"You brat, can't you just do anything without whining like a baby?"
"Mooommmmmm, brother called me a brat."
"Tell him to come here."
Great been up 5 min. and I'm already gonna have to listen to gripin'.
"It's not my fault your daughter's a brat."
"Well it's not my fault you grounded."
Oh no. I'm grounded. What will I do?
"What am I grounded for?"
"You know."
"Do not."
"Whatever, just get ready for school."
"O.K." (Imeta apsela pig latin)
"I'm leaving."
"Bye, and you're still grounded"
"Whatever."
I wanna go see "Varsity Blues". I can't believe they carded me. And then havinn' a cop check tickets. I wouldn'ta thought twice about sneakin' in. But no. I shoulda cussed them out. She couldn'ta been old enuff that she wouldn't been carded to. She shoulda felt my plight and let me. Oh well I'll use the passes to see a movie later. I don't know if I wanna see it now anyway. I don't wanna do anything right now. I'm so tired. I wish I could sleep for a entire day straight. That'd be cool. But no I hafta wake up every mornin'. I think I'll go ta sleep as soon as I get ta school. I wanna get some black fingernail polish. Is that a train? No I don't live near the tracks. What is that sound? Oh crap! A tornado sounds like a train. But it's not rainin'. I'm goin' back inside. I'll check the weather channel.
"Mom I think there's a tornado."
"If you're trying to get out of school, it's not going to work."
"Just check the weather channel. I ain't about go back out there until I know there isn't a tornado."
"Look on 4. They would have a warning across the bottom."
"O.K. See, I told you. Look, right there it goes across the screen tornado watch."
"It's probably not for our parish."
"You know I'm smart so why do find so hard to believe anything I say. Besides it says right there: St. Tammany parish."
"O.K. you're right."
"Well it doesn't matter it's just a tornado. I'm just glad I don't hafta go ta school."
"What do you mean it's just a tornado?"
"Well, I've been in a bunch, no big deal."
"Tornado's kill a lot of people."
"Not me."
"You've been lucky."
"Nope."
"I swear, sometimes I think you're on drugs," said she.
"Well I'm not."
"I believe you."
"You should."
"Well you never leave the house, how could you?"
"Yeah whatever."
"Well you don't."
"God, mom there's a tornado outside an' all you can do is rag on me."
"Have I said anything that wasn't true?"
"Whatever."
"Did you tell your sister to send me my C.D.'s yet?"
"There's a tornado outside an' all you can talk about is your C.D.'s."
"Well the two I got for Christmas have been at her house since three days after Christmas an' the other one's a double C.D. of the Smashing Pumpkins. My favorite C.D."
"When I talk to her I'll tell her that you want them."
"I wanna get a skateboard."
"Why, you got rollerblades and you don't use those?"
"Yeah but a skateboard is more fun. When I go to college I can skateboard to my classes."
"You could rollerblade."
"Nope, then I'd hafta carry shoes and stuff. Too much hassle."
"Well good point."
"Besides on campus, cars can't drive fast so I can just grab hold of the tailgate and I'm on my way."
"You know that's dangerous, right?"
"I've done it before."
"When?"
"When I was at my Dad's."
"He let you?"
"Not his car."
"Whose?"
"I don't know."
"You just grabbed some stranger's car and road behind the on a skateboard."
"No, rollerblades."
"Still, that's just not safe at all."
"Yeah I know if they getting in a wreck or slam on the brakes or make a sharp turn then I could get hurt."
"If you know it's dangerous, then why did you do it? You thought it was cool, huh"
"It was."
"Anyway we need to go into the bathroom or something."
"Mom are you jokin'."
"No the bathroom is the safest place in the house."
"And?"
"Well let's see. There's a tornado coming so, I don't know maybe we should go play outside with metal objects."
"Mom it's not that big a deal."
"Yeah just a tornado, nothing to worry about."
"You don't hafta get sarcastic about it mom."
"Well if you didn't say stupid things."
"It's not stupid. That's just the way that I feel."
"O.K. whatever, but if it's not a big deal then you should go to school."
"Why? They're gonna send thee students home soon anyway. They're probably on they're wasy home now. I'm gonna go play on the computer now."
"You don't need to play on that thing so much."
"I haven't played but like once this week. Besides what else is there to do."
"Whatever."
I just wanna play the game I just downloaded and I gotta here crap about it. I don't know why she won't just get off it.
"Buzz buzz buzz."
What the heck I thought that was just a dream and I woke up, me wakin up was just a dream.
"So I'm guessin' you might want a explanation, huh?"
"Who are you?"
"That would go a long as part of the explanation now wouldn't it?"
"Well I guess so."
"The truth is everything you think is real was just a test."
"A test?"
"Yeah your mom, your dad, your friends just a test all in your mind."
"My family was a dream?"
"Yup, you see the mind isn't really something you can touch. It's more like what you thought was your soul, and it doesn't always know the difference between reality and imagination."
"Wait? My mind? Not real?"
"Don't interrupt me boy. I'm trying to explain something but you won't shuddup long enough to listen. Now where was I? Oh yeah, well you see a great emperor is prophesied to arrive so to prevent nonuseful people from being born we test the mall on the way out. You didn't know the difference so you're gonna die."
"Wooo noo, I ‘m not gonna die."
"Is that a fact?"
"Yeah you think I'm just gonna let you kill me?"
"Look at yourself you aren't what you were in your dream. You are powerless. You are as they would say in you test a weakling."
"Oh God you're right. I can't even move."
"Won't matter in a sec. I decided that since in your dream people used guns to kill each other I'd do you the justice of using one on you."
"No please don't."
"That compassion thing was sorta funny wasn't it. I put that in your test because I wanted to see if you would beg me for your life and you did. Well I'm never ceased to be amazed by the people I kill. All different. But now it's time for you to accept your fate."
"KAPOW!!"
(Story over I'm dead.)
P.S. The entire story is true.

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